CREATING YOUR 2010 - MENTAL TOOLS

Creating YOUR 2010 – Mental Tools

In this series, we will be delving into techniques designed to create lasting change in your 2010. It is important to note though, that once you understand and apply these ideas and techniques, you will be able to implement any change you desire at any time. If we are going to discuss creating lasting change, we should first discuss the normal process that millions of people all over the world use in attempts to make changes in their lives.

The process goes something like this:

1. People often pick goals for their New Year by identifying something they don’t like about themselves or their lives. For example, people often identify that they are overweight or broke.

2. Once what they don’t like is identified, people decide what they are going to do about it. They may decide to go on a diet, save money, or take on an extra job.

This is where most people stop. However in today’s world, many people are familiar with the concept of creating goals … at least in a generic form so there are many individuals who take an additional step in the process:

1. They set goals to achieve their desired results.

Is this beginning to sound familiar?

Of course, we know that this process is extremely ineffective. The proof is overwhelming. Gym memberships soar in January only to be down to normal levels by March or April. Diets show that even individuals who lose weight gain most of it (and often more) back over time.

Is this trend limited to health and fitness?

No. We see this trend in all areas of life. New businesses often never leave the ground in the first 90 days and within 1 year; statistically, 97% have gone out of business. Individuals who work often plan a new beginning at the New Year that will generate a raise, commission, or new position in their company. Statistics show that the vast majority of these plans are virtually dead by March.

This trend extends beyond business and employment as well. Each year millions make plans to be better family members by spending more time with loved ones, by taking that long overdue trip, or by keeping in touch with those they care about “more often” this year.

It is, as we mentioned earlier, vastly overwhelming how few of these goals are ever met. The only thing the above process and any variations thereof have ever proven is that it doesn’t actually createlasting change on ANY level in life.

So, are making plans and goals to improve ourselves a hopeless endeavor?

NO! As we are writing this, we think back to past New Years and our goals for that year. When we do though, we remember two things:

1. Going through the above process or something similar.

2. Only a month or two later being right where we were before.

These were admittedly not fun times. Realizing our self defeating patterns causes doubt. We remember wondering why the change we attempted never worked and why we couldn’t seem to follow through with what we wanted to create in life.

As painful as those “failures” seemed at the time, they were necessary and perfect because they brought us to the information we are sharing with you NOW!

Through the study and practice of this wonderful material, we have discerned some major distinctions when it comes to creating LASTING change.

Are you ready to gain the insight to LASTING change in your life?

Open your mind to this and understand that once you grasp this process you can literally change anything with LASTING effects in your life. It may seem a bit different at first but we invite you to be open to the possibility of a new perspective and see your life from a different vantage point.

LET’S DO THIS!

This series is designed in 3 parts:

1. Mental Tools for Creating Your 2010

2. Financial Tools for Creating Your 2010

3. Health Tools for Creating Your 2010

We know you are anxious to dive right into the Financial and Health sections but as you will learn, all change starts in the mind. Understand, the material in this section will give you the foundation to build on. Just like the foundation of a house – build a solid foundation and your change will last but if you build on a weak foundation, it will crumble.

The MAIN Principle:

“We must ‘be’ before we can ‘do,’ and we can ‘do’ only to the extent which we ‘are,’ and what we ‘are’ depends upon what we ‘think.’” - Charles F. Haanel

What Haanel is saying is that in order to have something, we must first do and we can only do, to the extent which we are. This is the opposite of how most people think. Often, we hear someone say, “When I have money, I will be able to do so many things for my family and then I will be happy.” Notice the inverse model that most people use is HAVE then DO then BE.

So the appropriate order of achieving lasting success is BE then DO then HAVE.

Let’s really dig into the concept here. The first order of ALL lasting change is internal. You can never change your external circumstances without changing within or as someone once said, “The only corner you have control over is your own.” Now, don’t get us wrong, we do believe environment can help facilitate change but by no means is changing the environment a solution to what we are seeking; lasting change.

One of our favorite quotes is by Dr. Wayne Dyer. He says, “Change the way you think about things and the things you think about change.” The reason this quote is so powerful is it describes how change starts from within and resonates outward into our physical world.

Most people will say, if I just HAVE this, then I would BE or DO that. You may be thinking of experiences when you said something like this or heard someone else make this type of statement. Here are some examples:

“If I only I had that list of leads I would be a sales rock star!”

“If only I had that car I could be happy!”

“If only I could afford the right food I would be in perfect shape!”

We are asking you to say, “That’s ENOUGH!” No more of that. As mentioned earlier, the first order of ALL LASTING CHANGE is to change within.

What does that mean?

It means, stop focusing on the effects and focus on the cause. Think about it. We live in a cause and effect world. Every effect has a cause and every cause has an effect. So, if the model for lasting change is BE – DO – HAVE, then BE is the cause.

When we decide we want to create a lasting change, it is therefore imperative we start with what we want to BE.

STEP 1: How to BE

“Being is an inside job.” - Michael Bloxton

“Being” may seem esoteric, philosophical and maybe even whimsical to some people but that could not be further from the truth. This series is designed to be an actionable guide to creating lasting change and “BEING” is an actionable step.

Being is misunderstood. Many people confuse ‘who they are’ with ‘what they do.’ When we ask someone who they are, we get responses such as, “I am a doctor, lawyer, assistant, salesman, stay at home mom, etc” but none of these responses are accurate. They are telling you what they spend their time doing, not who they are.

Being is your true self. You are not your actions, you are not your body, and you are not your mind. Rather, you are a spirit that HAS a mind and HAS a body. Understanding this concept is the basis of lasting change. You may be asking:

“Now that I know I am not my body and not my mind who am I, really?”

Great question and it’s a fun answer! We utilize a long forgotten tool that has made the world all that it is today, YOUR IMAGINATION! It’s no joke. Tap into your imagination to put this first step to use.

EXERCISE:

Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and get the idea of what it is you would like to change. Choose just one for now. Use your imagination and create an image of who you are AFTER you have achieved that goal. Picture yourself already in possession of what it is you seek. See yourself healthier, happier, wealthier, or whatever it may be.

Be as vivid as you can during this imagination exercise. See the things around you, hear the sounds, and feel the feelings. Get all of your senses involved. Getting a clear picture?

Good! Now focus your energy on what that feels like to be this person. Imagine what the world looks like through their eyes.

Now that you are successful, what do you focus on in the world around you?

What is important to you now that you have achieved your desire?

Is your schedule hectic or planned?

Are you worried about bills or confident that everything will be ok?

Are you a good family member? Do you take the time to show your loved ones you care?

Do you eat healthy foods? Exercise?

We highly recommend writing your thoughts down so you can review them regularly.

IF you haven’t taken some time to do the above exercise yet, STOP! Take a BREAK. Do the exercise! Now is the time to record these thoughts and create a hard copy of this image of you BEING the person that has already accomplished these changes. It’s a great feeling connecting with that already successful person. This is who you are. It is actually a VITAL piece of creating LASTING change in your life.

Abraham Lincoln once said, “If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I would spend the first seven hours sharpening my sword”. This section is the “sword sharpening time” that is so often overlooked. EVERYTHING STEMS FROM HERE, SO TAKE THE TIME TO DO IT RIGHT.

Would the already-successful-you complete the above exercise?

With your newly imagined image of yourself we can start working through the process of creation. Your decisions NEED to be made based on what that person would do. Start acting like the person you want to be. For instance, if money or wealth is what you seek then start acting like you would if you were already in possession of great wealth.

A common rebuttal here is “Yes, I know but I don’t actually have the money now” or “I can’t because if I ran a marathon now, I am so out of shape I would have a heart attack.” Let’s be clear. This is NOT fake-it-til-you-make-it. We are not suggesting you spend money you don’t have or go into debt buying the car you want. Nor are we suggesting that you run a marathon tomorrow if who you want to be is physically fit.

What do we mean then?

Whenever you are faced with a decision, ask yourself this question, “What would the already successful me do in this situation?” Here are some examples:

“Would the already successful me sit down and organize all my finances?”

“Would the healthy me get up and go to the gym right now instead of thinking up excuses why not?”

“Would my perfect soul mate be interested in doing what I am doing tonight?”

“Would the empowered me be worried right now over this situation?”

There are countless ways to think with the end in mind. That phrase may sound familiar but take a second to think about it. Think and BE with the end in mind.

“Contemplate yourself already surrounded by the circumstances you desire” – Dr. Wayne Dyer.

Notice that each question we can ask ourselves requires a decision. The word, decide is a verb which implies action. It comes from the Latin word, decidere, which means “to cut off from.” Basically, when we decide, we cut off from all other possibilities. If you think about the times in your life you made a decision, you will see that what you were really doing was selecting one possible course of action or non-action and cutting yourself off from all other possibilities.

Our lives are only a series of decisions. Our health is a series of decisions and everything in between is a series of decisions. We all know this to be true. However, there is a subtle fact that is not realized by most people. It was summed up best by Neale Donald Walsch:

“Every decision you make — every decision — is not a decision about what to do. It’s a decision about Who You Are. When you see this, when you understand it, everything changes. You begin to see life in a new way. All events, occurrences, and situations turn into opportunities to do what you came here to do.”

If life is a series of decisions and those decisions create who you are, doesn’t it make sense to base your decisions on the cause of all of your desired achievements … what you want to BE?

Too many people base their decisions on who they are now rather than who they want to be. They do this by making decisions on what to do or have based on their current self. Then, they wonder why their life is not changing. It is not changing because they are repeating the same actions that got them to this point again and again. Yet, they expect to somehow get different results and as the old adage goes, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

Most people say that they do not know what action to take to start their path towards their desired life. The answer is simple, yet a mystery to so many. Start right where you are making decisions as if you were the person you already want to be.

If you do that, you will be on the road to becoming that person!

STEP 2: How to DO

Before we move onto the next step, you must recognize that this process of creating lasting change is a cumulative process and each piece builds on the next. If you haven’t already done the exercise in Step 1, do it NOW! Do not read further. Ask yourself, “Would the person I want to be do the prescribed exercise in the proper order and in its entirety, or would that person skip forward without doing everything necessary?”

You know the answer, so go back and do everything before reading on. If you have already fully completed Step 1, then you are ready to go from BE to DO!

“Action will delineate and define you.” – Thomas Jefferson

Now you know who you want to BE. You also know that you must begin to weigh your decisions based on who you want to BE. It is very important that while deciding is an action, it is a “preparatory” action. When you decide to proceed in a certain way, you must follow up with action that is in harmony with that decision. This action is the DO in the BE-DO-HAVE process.

Look at this logically. You must first know who you want to BE in order to make the right decisions. Then you must follow with actions that are in harmony with those decisions. If you don’t take that first step, knowing who you want to be, then the action you take could be completely misguided or just a little off. Either way, it is not likely to take you to the destination you desire.

Bob Proctor said something that illustrates this well. He said, “If you are driving in a straight line from New York to Los Angeles and your steering wheel is just 1% off then you will never end up in Los Angeles.”

Understanding where you want to end your journey is imperative. It is also imperative that you know that each action you take is NOT 1% off. This is why we are driving home the point that you deserve to know what you want to BE before you take part in any of the Do’s. If you start with DO before you know how to BE, you could end up even farther away from where you want to BE.

When we talk about taking action towards some desired outcome, people always ask,

“How do I do it?”

At this point, we are going to shift your thought process a little bit again. Knowing how to DO something is not as important as knowing what to DO. This concept may be foreign to you or even counter-intuitive based on what you were taught up to this point. Schools often teach that it is important to know “how” which may be true in 11^th grade while taking a test but real life is different. Follow our logic here …

No matter what it is that you desire, the knowledge for how to do that is available. You can either learn it yourself, or surround yourself with people who are already in possession of that knowledge.

Does that sound a lot like “cheating”?

Andrew Carnegie didn’t think so. He said, “The secret of success lies not in doing your own work, but in recognizing the right man to do it.”

The right man or woman could be you but that is not necessarily the case. Carnegie was not the only one either. Ford and Getty both made similar statements. The point here is this:

How to do something can be learned or acquired from outside sources at any time. What is crucial, and much more valuable, is knowing what to do!

The best part is that you will know EXACTLY what to DO because you’ll have your BE clearly defined. Understanding what that looks and feels like is your ultimate compass to your DO. If you are facing options, whether they are bad options, good options, many options, or just a few … what to DO next is simple to figure out. Just close your eyes and ask yourself this one question, “What would the me who already has this goal achieved DO in this situation, what would they DO?”

These decisions and actions may not always seem “big.” In fact, quite often they seem insignificant but when you understand that ALL decisions, regardless of significance, shape who you are, you realize they are all “big.” We have been studying these concepts and techniques for years but each day we make decisions and act in harmony with them. This is an everyday process. One example that illustrates this very well occurred in Mike’s life while we were writing this material. His description is below.

“As I was writing this article, a perfect example of a decision shaping who I am presented itself to me. In this instance it was with regard to my physical health. I was writing just a few paragraphs above on visualizing what we want to be and an image of the body I want popped in my head. At this point, I was in the middle of an article, it was already late, and a ton of excuses showed themselves as soon as my mind asked, “Should I go to the gym?” I am laughing to myself now because I battled myself in my own mind. It was the battle between who I am today and who I want to BE. I re-read a few paragraphs and made the decision based upon what the person I want to BE would DO. Needless to say I dropped what I was doing and went to the gym!”

A beautiful story about this concept was shared with us about the Wright brothers. They were the first recognized to take flight. They had many failures and made many attempts and finally set a firm date a few months out that they would definitively take flight. Every other time they attempted they had beautiful blue skies and wonderful weather but as this day approached, the day they were determined to fly, the weather did not seem so fair. The brothers and their father debated on calling off the test run altogether due to the weather but they said that was the day and that was that, no ifs or buts about it!

Little known to them at the time, it was the windy weather that allowed them the ability to fly. Even to this day planes always take off into the wind in order to create the lift they need. Knowing HOW to do something is not as important as knowing WHAT to do. The Wright Brothers knew what they wanted to BE, then decided on a proper course of action for what to DO based on who they wanted to BE and the how, took care of itself.

You are probably already beginning to create the images in your own head of how to properly take your BE and create your DO list. Hold the image in your head and take the action that the person you want to BE would take. Always remember when taking action steps in this way for every step you take toward your goal, your goal takes a step towards you.

STEP 3: How to HAVE

We began writing Step 3 by researching materials on receiving.

Why receiving?

Because when you know what you want to be, make your decisions based on that, and act in harmony with those decisions, the HAVE is not a causal step in the process, it’s an effect. However, be very clear, it is still an action.

Learning how to HAVE, or more accurately, receive requires action just like learning to DO. It may be easier to get this point across with a story.

Imagine you desire to be a healthy and fit person. Now imagine your phone rings and a good friend asks you if you would like to meet at the park and have a catch with a baseball. Many excuses may come to mind but you ask yourself, “What would the healthy and fit person I want to be decide to do?” You decide to go and meet your friend at the time and location you both agreed upon. First, notice you had to know who you wanted to BE, then you made a decision with that outcome in mind. Next, recognize that you had to DO in order to get there. You put the appointment in your calendar, you drove to the park, and you DID many other things that were in harmony with your decision. There is the BE and DO in the process.

Now imagine that you show up and your friend pulls out a ball. In this example, your friend is the UNIVERSE. Imagine that the ball is the object of your desire. There, before you in your friend’s hand is that desired outcome that you have been striving for. What happens when they throw the ball?

You don’t just stand there. You don’t just stare down the ball do you? OF COURSE NOT! You TAKE ACTION! You run towards the ball, flying in the air, arms outstretched, and catch it. Think about that, you TAKE ACTION in order to HAVE and RECEIVE! This is not coincidental or happenstance, this is how you are going to create the LASTING CHANGE you seek.

The BE and the DO part of the process put you on the field in a position to HAVE that which you desire. It is the action to receive though, that allows you to HAVE. You have created the ball that is in the hands of the UNIVERSE by your knowing of HOW TO BE. You have shown the UNIVERSE that you are in the game and you want to play with that specific ball based on the action you have taken and NOW you are taking the action required in order to HAVE what is coming to you.

Have you ever placed your hands and positioned your body in such a way to enable you to catch a ball?

If you haven’t, you better consider it because that ball, like any other object you desire is coming your way and if you are not prepared to RECEIVE it then it is most likely going to pelt you and the very thing you want is going to cause you pain or suffering.

Something very interesting and powerful came up as we were researching Step 3. Nearly every source we found on receiving started with mentioning giving. As we discuss this relationship further, we may once again expand or shift your paradigm. Welcome this! After all, that is why you are participating in the Creating YOUR 2010 program, isn’t it?

“Give and it shall be given unto you good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over.” – Luke 6:38

You have now created the crystal clear image of yourself already in receipt of what you want, you have made decisions based upon that image of yourself, and you have taken specific action that is in harmony with those decisions, whether you knew how or not. Now you are ready to RECEIVE and HAVE what you desire.

So where does giving come into the equation?

Giving is an action and like all other actions, must be in line with who you want to be. Giving is one of the quickest and most effective ways to receive! Remember, we live in a cause and effect universe.

It may sound illogical to give that which you seek but let’s go through a few examples.

What is the easiest way to get a smile? There are lots of things you might do that may result in you receiving a smile but the quickest and surest way is to GIVE a smile first.

EXERCISE:

The next time you are walking ANYWHERE, as you approach someone walking towards you, whether you know them or not, SMILE AT THEM! Test this theory and prove to yourself that if you smile at people, you get lots of smiles back. Remember, the person you want to BE would complete this exercise immediately!

Here is another great story to illustrate the idea of giving:

A man of a certain level of stubbornness was sitting by his furnace when the weather began to turn cold. Just outside the door on the side of the house was a great pile of wood, chopped and ready to be fit into the furnace. So here the man sat after taking time and taking action in preparing the wood from a tree, to smaller pieces, then to even smaller pieces, bringing it all by the house and piling it nicely on the side of the house to be ready for use. But here the man sat, by his furnace as the weather turned cold. As the cold crept in the man grew more aggravated and finally huffed and puffed outside in the cold to gather a handful of wood from the pile. He walked back into the house and stood in front of the furnace and said angrily, “You give me heat and I will give you wood!”

What do you think happened?

As absurd as that may seem that is how most of us learned how to HAVE.

Are you in sales or business? This concept applies there as well. Too many business people focus on the HAVE as a starting point. However, ask any successful business person and he/she will tell you that their income was in direct proportion to the amount of service they provided. The more service rendered, the higher the check.

This is true in any desired outcome. Act with the intention of “giving increase” wherever you go and the UNIVERSE will move mountains to provide you abundance. This is a well know spiritual principle. Too many people believe that they will give more when they have more but this doesn’t lead to abundance.

Why?

What are you doing with what you already have? How can you be trusted with more if you aren’t giving anything with what you have now?

This is your opportunity to create a new belief and a new paradigm about how to HAVE in your life. Remember, it starts with knowing who you ARE and want to BE. Then you must make decisions that reflect the future of who you are, not the past. The past does not equal the future … always remember that. Finally, you must take actions that are in harmony with your decisions. These actions should always add value to those lives they affect, and by doing so, you align yourself with the great law of Sowing and Reaping.

BE, then DO, then HAVE!

You are now armed with the foundation you need to Create YOUR 2010. This has been a fun and exhilarating piece to prepare. Our mission is to give you the tools to create the life you desire, starting this year.

The following two sections of this series are on Financial and Health desires specifically. As you will see though, both of these topics are dependent upon a full understanding of the materials covered here.

This process has proven itself time and again in our own lives but in thousands of other lives as well. This is the true process of creating LASTING CHANGE in your life.

NICK BOGATIN & MICHAEL BLOXTON